Cognitive Distortions leading to Depression

Recently, as a part of trying to get over some spiritually abusive situations I was a part of, I read a few books on perfectionism. It turns out that spiritually abusive situations are most likely rooted in some form of perfectionism. It surprised me to realize that even though my theology was very much rooted in the Grace of God through Jesus Christ, my spiritual practice was plagued with perfectionism.

When I looked into perfectionism a bit more, I found some good books on cognitive distortions that are made that feed into perfectionism. I got these through two books: Never Good Enough: Freeing Yourself From the Chains of Perfectionism and Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy.

The idea here is that most depression comes about as a result of a cognitive distortion, or thinking error. Depression and perfectionism are linked very closely because you expect a perfect world and when that doesn't happen you get depressed. Here are the thinking errors mentioned (I'm linking to a good source for more information if you're interested):

• All or Nothing Thinking, when you can't be comfortable with a situation if anything about it is wrong. You can't love America because Obama or Bush is President. You can't like your job because their benefits aren't good enough. You can't just work 40-50 hours a week because you can't stand the thought of everything not getting done. Church doesn't count unless it's exactly like what they do in the Bible. Everything else, with this thinking, doesn't count.
• Overgeneralization, when you label yourself with a bad label because of a minor detail. "I'm a bad parent" after you lost your temper with your kids. "I'm just not spiritual" because you didn't check off everything on your spiritual checklist. You end up dealing with a much worse label than really is there, and thus become unnecessarily depressed.
• Mental Filter, where you take the bad part out of a conversation and filter everything else out. I've been in reviews before where I got a great rating and my boss raved about my work 90% of the time, but I leave thinking about the 10% of bad stuff that was talked about. By the time I filtered stuff out, I ended up feeling depressed and thinking I was on the verge of getting fired, when the exact opposite was true.
• Disqualifying the Positive, when positive things happen to you only by chance, or accident. "I was just in the right place at the right time." So you never get to celebrate success, or it doesn't count for some reason, and you get depressed with the negativity left over.
• Jumping to Conclusions (Mind Reading or Fortune Telling), "They think I'm an idiot", or "If I suggest that, I'll be laughed out of the room." You end up having to deal with a reality that isn't real; it's made up by your fortune telling.
• Magnification (Catostrophizing) or Minimalization, "This department started a rumor about my team, so we're finished." When you take something that is rationally not a big deal and blow it way out of proportion.
• Emotional Reasoning, when you make what you feel reality even though the evidence might dictate otherwise. If you feel nervous about speaking in front of people, that might not mean you're in real danger; it just might be that you're nervous.
• Should Statements, "I should be reading my bible every day" turns into a vicious cycle of trying to perform and then getting depressed because you can't perform. The shoulds aren't usually ones that you want anyways. So get rid of them. And take it easy on yourself.
• Labeling or Mislabeling, "I'm a computer programmer; I don't interact well with people" will make you unhappy because ultimately you're not some fixed labelled person; you're capable of growing and trying new things. The minute you put yourself in a box with fixed, eternal limitations is the minute you're going to get depressed.
• Personalization, "My wife is mad that I didn't have the house clean, she must realize that I'm a horrible person." When you take a complex situation and say to it, "I'm bad."

The book I read on the cognitive distortions talks about how to systematically take these thinking errors and turn them around to find the real truth. They say that studies have shown that this is more effective than medicine alone in treating depression. It's amazing how powerful our cognition is.